In the original dustsheet. Black cloth binding with gilt title on the spine.

• F.B.A. provides an in-depth photographic presentation of this item to stimulate your feeling and touch. More traditional book descriptions are immediately available.

**A Daily Mail Book of the Year**

What happens on the pitch is only half the story.

Being a footballer is not just kicking a ball about with twenty-one other people on a big grass rectangle. Sometimes being a footballer is about accidentally becoming best mates with Mickey Rourke, or understanding why spitting is considered football’s most heinous crime.

In How to be a Footballer, Peter Crouch took us into a world of bad tattoos and even worse haircuts, a world where you’re on the pitch one minute, spending too much money on a personalised number plate the next. In I, Robot, he lifts the lid even further on the beautiful game. We will learn about Gareth Bale’s magic beans, the Golden Rhombus of Saturday night entertainment, and why Crouchy’s dad walks his dog wearing an England tracksuit from 2005. Whether you’re an armchair expert, or out in the stands every Saturday, crazy for five-a-side or haven’t put on a pair of boots since school, this is the real inside story of how to be a footballer.

Review: I Robot: How to Be a Footballer 2 is another hilarious look at a footballer’s crazy life from someone who has been there and done it all. Crouch is effortlessly engaging and knows exactly how to spin a great yarn. Like the first book, the chapters are split into themes like own goals and referees. This isn’t your traditional autobiography; this jumps around in time and space to wherever the most fun stories are, and for that reason, it is a brilliant read. Fans of the podcast will recognise and enjoy the format. Some of the anecdotes may be recycled (I don’t listen anymore, sorry, Peter!), but I still think podcast listeners would enjoy it. There was a disappointing amount of Burnley in there, but to be fair, we weren’t exactly the pinnacle of his career… Anyway, overall this is a fun, quick read that is worth reading just for the story about Micky Rourke alone.

Peter James Crouch (born 30 January 1981) is an English former professional footballer who played as a striker. He was capped 42 times by the England national team between 2005 and 2010, scoring 22 goals for his country during that time, and appearing at two FIFA World Cup tournaments. He is one of 33 players to have scored 100 or more Premier League goals, and holds the record for the most headed goals in Premier League history.

Crouch began his career as a trainee with Tottenham Hotspur. He failed to make an appearance for Spurs and after loan spells at Dulwich Hamlet and Swedish club IFK Hässleholm he joined Queens Park Rangers. After QPR were relegated at the end of the 2000–01 season, Portsmouth acquired him in a transfer deal worth £1.5 million. He had a strong first season at Fratton Park, and after scoring 19 goals for the club, he joined Aston Villa in March 2002 for £5 million. He had a relatively poor spell at Villa, however, and was loaned out to Norwich City in 2003 before making a move to Southampton, where he regained his form, which would ultimately prompt his joining Liverpool in July 2005. At Liverpool he enjoyed considerable success, winning the FA Cup and FA Community Shield in 2006, and also gaining a runners-up medal in the 2007 UEFA Champions League Final.

After scoring 42 goals in three seasons at Anfield, Portsmouth re-acquired Crouch for £11 million, where he forged an effective partnership with fellow England international Jermain Defoe. He spent just one season in his second spell at Portsmouth and left for Tottenham Hotspur, where he again linked up with Defoe and Harry Redknapp. He scored a vital goal for Tottenham against Manchester City which earned the club a place in the UEFA Champions League. He scored seven goals in ten European matches for Spurs in 2010–11, but was unable to replicate this form in the Premier League. He joined Stoke City in August 2011, for a club record fee of £10 million. In his first season with Stoke, he scored 14 goals and won the club’s Player of the Year award. He scored eight in 2012–13 and ten in both the 2013–14 and 2014–15 seasons. Crouch spent seven and a half years with Stoke, scoring 62 goals before joining Burnley in January 2019. He retired in July 2019 after the end of his contract.